It's all in the wrist...

I'll come back for my deep thoughts for you to marinate on later, however this little tidbit inspired me this morning:

'If you aren't happy, why are you wasting your time?'

*dramatic pause*

*crickets*

*blank stare* (that one is from Ms. Jamerica)

New Year... New...?

I've become fairly indfferent about the new year over the past few years.... I used to be the first to make resolutions, noting what my life seemed to lack and making sure 'I aced that bitch of a goal' I set for myself. And then.... life happened. Those brand new habits you said you would train your brain to do don't get done. Life continues to happen, you reflect on what you said you were gonna do, clean it up a bit, then life happens so more. If you're like me, you look up and realize 'DAMN, ITS DECEMBER!!! WTF HAPPENED TO MAY?!'



I will say that around this time I get really restless. I want to make changes.... the innerGreenEyes wants to do something totally unlike her. So I got a tattoo.... and a piercing..... and I'm going to get another piercing because I loves me some body art.... anyone wanna guess where the newest piercing is? *giggle*

The reason I stopped blogging is that I never thought my life was interesting enough to talk about. Besides, I'm not the writer. I'm the thinker... but putting thoughts into a blog for everyone else to read and critique? Uh.... *pause*

Anyway, enough of me (tat tat tatted up, tat tat tatted up)..... I'm cool, I'm chillin at Tex's house sippin some tea... because I have to have SOME sort of culture.... just sayin.

Yes, I'm still alive...

It's been a wild ride the last couple of months.
Studying for the CPA, passing the first 2 parts of said exam, moving to a new crib, fighting with Mr. Aries, thinking my sister is crazy, missing my nephews, working my ass off as SuperAccountant and top all that off with PMDD!

Damn, where to even begin..... gotta marinate on that.
Oh and I got an i.Phone. so perhaps there is an app for that!

Nothing to see over here.

I'm here, but I'm not all here.
PMDD, Mr. Aries, moving, work.... it's been so much more than I thought I could handle.

That's all I have to say about that.

Quickies and random thoughts...

- The new marketing bandwagon of using talking animals, animals driving cars, animals rapping... I hate it. Really.

- Not sure WTF I was thinking when I made this class schedule for an inventory management certification and a prep class for the CPA at the same time. Free time? What is that?

- I'm moving in 2 weeks and I have not packed a single thing. Not cute.

- little Mr. Aries is here for the summer. My ear is being talked off. He has an opinion about every single freakin thing that exists on the planet. I appreciate that, really. But might not want to hear about it for 9 hours straight. Take a nap. Take a break. Go to bed early. /step parent of the year

- I need to drink more water. I've been really thirsty lately. I need a facial. I need a massage. I need something other than rum & coke for lunch.

- The new i.Phone. has been looking at me. I keeping telling it to go away, but it wants to lurk around me. Go away! I'm sticking with my berry, so *sign of the cross*



-

It's time...

This post is all over the damn place… so here we go…

It’s hard to avoid your reflection. It’s even harder to realize that the reflection you see is not what you thought it would be. I never considered myself FAT… let me tell you why… I always considered myself plus-sized, thick… I come from a line of women that have big boobs, large frames, squared off shoulders… so when I was a double D bra size in 10th grade, it was normal for my family…. In my mind I was always just large… a big difference from being all out FAT. When I think of FAT, I think of the jiggly stuff on a ribeye steak, those folks you see on T.L.C. that can’t get out of bed or function… extreme obesity. It wasn’t until I started seeing the look of JUST love in the eyes of Mr. Aries that I realized I was fat. Have you ever seen the ‘just love’ look? It’s the look you get when you go to hug a man, that used to desire you and now finds you pretty, but not sexy. It’s the ‘I love you so much, more than any other woman I have ever loved, but I’m not attracted to you’ look.

Let’s marinate on that a moment, while I go on with more thoughts.

I had a conversation with Curvy Jones about being shallow. Is there a fine line that we walk when we say we don’t want a fat man? We don’t want a thin man? If you are vocal about the body type of the person you want to be with and find attractive, are you shallow? Am I shallow because I think I’m all that and a bag of chips or is that just vanity? Don’t we all have preferences? Isn’t there something that you want that’s a ‘must have’ rather than a ‘kinda sorta would consider if’? We women are emotional… most of us when asked what we would prefer in a man, we start talking about personality traits… sense of humor, wit, intelligence, empathy. Ask a man? He wants long hair, big lips, big boobs, small waist.
I consider myself attractive. But I also know that my health is starting to weaken over the extra weight I’m carrying. It’s been 5 or so years since I went to the doctor the first time to complain about migraine headaches. My doctor, whom I’ve gone to for 12 years, told me to lose weight, start watching what I eat, eliminate dairy products, go toward more veggies and lean meats. But that’s hard! How does a professional that works 10 hours a day, in a corporate office that loves to cater in lunch for extra-large-portion-eating-men, eat more veggies and lean meat and not eat cheese? WTF. So in my own mind I figured we (read that as I) would just band-aid the problem. After all, cheese can’t be that bad, right? A little fat and some headaches and I got to eat what I wanted all the time? FINE! Right then, began my journey to find the right thing for me, diet wise. This should be simple, everyone knows you shouldn’t eat high fat cheeseburgers and fitty eleven fries with it and wash all that down with a milkshake. Everyone knows you have to exercise sometimes. But what if you really REALLY don’t want to? What do you do then? (that’s rhetorical, by the way)… so let me answer that for you… you make excuses. I have made every fuckin excuse in the book as to why I won’t exercise or eat in a way that can get me lean and sexy… don’t have time…boobs so big no sports bra would hold me…hate the gym…everyone is so thin there and I’m huffing and puffing after walking 1 minute on the treadmill…forgot to go to the grocery store…it’s cheaper to eat out…I have a headache… I have cramps…forgot my gym clothes…lunch was free, even if it was pizza…so what if I have a little (uh, it aint a little) extra weight, I’m cute, I can carry it just fine…. And on and on and on and on.
Now I’m out of excuses… or I’m tired of them, either one. I’ve gotten to the point where I know being overweight is not cute. This is not about BBW love or hating on the big girls. This is about what is comfortable to me, what I can feel good about.
First, I have to take control of my eating. No, I don’t forget to eat (how the hell do folks do that shit?)…but I know I don’t eat well (get in enough veggies, eat square meals, eat more protein). I know I can do it because thus far I’ve lost a pants size (now a size 18 and an XL shirt).
Next is taking control of exercise. I have a gym membership that I pay for to a great gym… and haven’t used it but a handful of times in the last 12 months. I really REALLY don’t like going after work because that’s when the place is the busiest. So I have to decide if I can get over that or go in the morning before work. These 2 things (eating and exercise) sound so simple on paper and yet the anxiety in my head about the pair is complicated.

Getting back to what I said about Mr. Aries… we had a long talk/discussion/fight about the kind of woman I am and the physical woman that he prefers. The facts about me being intelligent, witty, caring, kind and respectful don’t go unappreciated. But the fact that I have a big hanging stomach, fat rolls, start sweating going up one flight of steps and won’t wear shorts or dresses *IS* unappreciated. And honestly, I can’t say I blame him. Those that know Mr. Aries know he is not thin… he is a big, tall, football linebacker, Neanderthal kind of a guy. He wears a 3X shirt and can eat plates of food. And he wants me to be sexy… not only for his own preference, but for confidence in myself. There is a difference is how I am now and how I used to be when I was younger and smaller. I want that back. This is not something I want to do for him, I won't do it for him, this is for ME. This is all about me and my own journey to be happy with my figure, happy to shop for clothes, happy to wear shorts, happy to be outside and social.


I want that back.

Another 7 days before I go back to work...

Now. I'm going to be straight up honest and say I cannot relate to women who want to spend every waking moment with their men. I have been home approximately 7 days and I swear Mr. Aries has me about to catch a damn charge! His bedside manner is... uh... not there. But if I need him to kill a bug, he is totally down for that. Need him to get the oil changed? He's your guy. Need him to rub on your back and peel you a grape and ask how you're feeling and if your tummy needs rubbing? Find another man. Want to talk about your feelings? Aw hell to the naw. He is what he is and I've accepted him for that. I also know I'm not the easiest woman to live with. I have my moments, hormonal and know it all (and yes, dammit, I *do* know it all) that clash with him. And I've found myself wondering if LOVE is enough to overcome any disagreement, any challenge, any rollercoaster ride.
I was so angry at him yesterday for making a seemingly easy task all about him... some male pride bullshit that made absolutely no sense to me... and it still doesn't. What I had to realize is that the way I feel about my nephews, how I love them to my very core, is not how HE feels about my nephews. He wasn't there when they were born. He hasn't been there for the first day of school or the birthday parties or the school field trips that I've been around for.
What I expected of him was to feel what I feel/felt, have his heart heavy for my babies... not to make it about him and what he thinks SOTD (that's spawn of the devil aka my nephew's father) needs to do/not do.

*pause*

I do not understand men. I thought I did. It always boiled down to 'men are simple, if you aren't naked, fix them a sandwich and pass them the remote control'... and life would be great.
But they aren't really that simple. They are complicated because we make them complicated. We put our emotion into how we think they should act/be and end up with a whole mess of complicated. We expect them to react a certain way because WE would react a certain way, and when they don't, all hell and damnation breaks loose.

I have to learn to let him be him and be okay with that. It's a hard lesson.

Pulled in different directions...

This is my vent:

I find myself being pulled in so many different directions recently. I have been SuperAunt to my nephews since they were born. Since I don't have children of my own, my love and affection and devotion has gone into my nephews. I would do anything for them, give them the shirt off my back, whatever they want/wanted.
When Mr. Aries and I got together a few years ago, I did a fairly decent job of balancing my love life and my babies (what I call my nephews, I also call them Rugrats). There were some times when the rugrats displayed a little bit of jealousy, since AuntieGreenEye's attention was being diverted to someone else. It took a minute for them to warm up to Aries, and I know they now love him and see him as their Uncle. This warms my heart.
Well, my sister is going through a divorce and its getting nasty. Her soon to be Ex is being an ASS and isn't helping with any kind of support for the kids. Before this past weekend, the rugrats has not even seen their .. ahem... sperm donor... in nearly 3 months.
All that to say, my sister and the youngest 2 rugrats have gone out of town for the holiday weekend, and the oldest stayed in town to attend some 'school is over let's par.tay.' event. Well, he is at his father's apartment.... the plan was for me to pick him up. Well, since I'm recovering from surgery, I'm not supposed to be driving.... but Mr. Aries has decided that 'we' would be making things more convenient for 'spawn of the devil' so 'we' WON'T go pick up my nephew.
EXCUSE ME?
Mr. Aries' exact words were: why make it convenient for him, make him bring his son to us.
Okay, THAT was not the plan, this has nothing to do with making something convenient for someone else. This has to do with picking up my nephew and bringing him here for the weekend. WTF is this some sort of male pride shit? Why are you trying to make this about YOU and him, rather than being there for the kids?!?!?!

*pause to calm down*

I'll be back after I limp downstairs to my truck to go get my nephew.

How to keep up with it all?

This last 2 weeks has been only what I can describe as 'an insane rollercoaster'.
Surgery for fibroids, then cancelled surgery for fibroids, closing the quarter, then closing the month, feeling like a pin cushion because I've had so much blood drawn, then PMDD, followed by being SuperAunt and in there somewhere, being a mate to Mr. Aries.

I need a vacation so bad, I can TASTE the sea kissed breeze off the pacific ocean.

Stress is a bitch.

And I don't mean in a good way.
I'm stressed. I am overly stressed. So much so that my health is getting worse (read that as hormones fucked up, head hurting constantly, nauseated and just plain BLAH) and it makes me stressed that I'm stressed. WTF is THAT about?!
Okay, yes, I know I need to not stress. That shit is easier said than done. PERIOD.

Ouch.

The last few weeks (read that as MONTHS) have been stressful for me. The nature of my profession, Mr. Aries being laid off, my hormone rollercoaster.... it makes for a very STRESSED Green Eyes. I need a vacation. Not a long weekend at home, I need a real vacation that involves leaving my house and not having any responsibility for a few days. Just to do what I want to do.. read, sleep late, order room service, see the beach.


An old friend of mine called me recently to check on me... after all the chitchat, we started exchanging emails...she tells me she has a friend with a timeshare on the beach on the east coast. *happy dance* She invites me to go along *happy dance* I immediately say yes. I wouldn't have to pay for a thing, just get my ass on a plane and all else will be handled. That sounded so good to me my mouth watered. I asked if her friend would be joining us or would it be just us girls..... just us girls and her friend (male) might join us for one night just to say hello. Aiight, cool. So she gives me the 'friend's' email address, I email him, asking questions about the timeshare, where it was exactly, how big, can you see the beach (y'all know I'm anal...I need details!).... he emails me back, tells me everything... he cc's my old buddy.


The next email I get is forwarded to me by mistake by my old friend......she tells me she is leaving her office in a few minutes and will call me.... underneath her information is a direct email to her from timeshare guy that says 'well according to her pictures on face.book. she is kinda on the FAT side'.



*pause*



Now before I even tell you how that stung and the reason it stung is maybe because it's true and all that stuff, I will just say that I read that email close to a thousand times. How would I even respond to that? How do you deal with your friend's friend who thinks you're fat?



*pause*



First, I responded to all, and said NICE, VERY NICE.... then I got mad. Then I told my friend to not even be concerned about me joining her at the timeshare, because frankly my idea of a relaxing vacation does not include some guy I don't even know giving me the side eye because I want to put a tank top on. Honestly, I'll pass on someone who would actually say that's hospitality.

The word FAT bothers me. I know I'm plus sized, LARGE, thick, hell... even overweight. But I have NEVER referred to myself as fat, even if others have thought so. I've seen photos of myself, both good and bad, and thought 'damn, I look puffy in that picture' or 'triple damn, I need to get rid of that shirt' or 'good LORD, they will be returning me to the wild very soon!'.. never once have I said 'I look fat in that picture'.

I'm not in denial about the fat that I have on my body. Not in denial about how MUCH fat there is on my body, especially my ass. I went over and over it in my head, you are fat, you are fat, you are fat, others see you are fat, others say (obviously in writing) that you are fat. Damn.
If it was a false statement, would I be hurt by some man I don't even know judging me? If it wasn't true, why would I give a shit?

These thoughts are running through my mind.....
To be continued....

A quiet weekend...

I was feeling a bit funny on Friday. I knew I didn't have plans for the weekend, but Friday afternoon I felt the 'beginnings' of a migraine headache. It was just a dull sensation that seemed to be ongoing regardless of what I did or didn't do. So by Saturday morning at 1:38am, I felt like I was being hit in the head with a hammer.... the pain was so bad I ended up in the emergency room throwing up and crying my eyes out. *sigh* So much for my easy, quiet weekend. Damn hormones.
At any rate, I've been in bed since I got home from the ER yesterday.... and this is the list of things I've noticed:
1) I pay fitty eleven million dollars for all these damn cable channels and can't find anything to watch on tv.
2) My neighbor's dog gets very lonely when they leave him at home because he whines his ass off.
3) Morphine shots in your hip are not fun and make your colon unhappy.
4) I need new pillows.
5) Jello, applesauce and a banana is not a significant amount of food when you eat it, but when you throw it up, it seems like a 7 course meal.
6) My sister does not understand the meaning of 'I'm asleep can *I* call *YOU* back?'
7) I can't believe there was a movie on Skin.a.max. that was called 'The De.vil. wears Na.da'
8) I'm really cranky when I'm thirsty.

Yes. I rant.

I have alot going on right now. Between work and my girl-part health and the stress of being the breadwinner, I am NOT in the greatest of moods, especially when PMDD starts.
So when the end of the month/quarter rolls around due to my profession, I'm less than 'turn a cartwheel' happy. I'm more like 'glad to be home to a quiet house and some serenity'... which translates to: don't be stopping by if you are not a close personal friend aka I love you enough to donate a kidney if you needed one without calling. Calling and saying you are outside is NOT calling before you come by to check to see if its okay. I just laid into Mr. Aries for just walking downstairs and opening the door to his cousin (the one who decided that the good woman he had was not good enough because she questioned some ho.tramp.doggie.ass.slut. he had as a friend on face.book). No, I don't like him, I don't like men like him, he can stay his ass on the porch for all I care....and right now, hell naw I don't feel like being polite and no, don't even speak to me and I know your ho.ass. didn't just ask me if any of my friends are single and looking! Kiss both my ass cheeks, mofo, because it will be a snowballs chance in hot ass middle of the summer Houston before I even consider introducing you to my worst enemy, much less one of my friends.

*fixes an Amaretto Sour and takes my laptop upstairs*

Better still...

Here is my newest list of ramblings: (the first of a few lists....)

1) I want some comfort food - and by comfort food I mean something with gravy, some lasagna, some macaroni & cheese. All the stuff that could be potentially bad for you and is not in my diet right now. *says a cuss (not curse) word*
2) NO, Ery.kah.Ba.Du. that was NOT.CUTE. I understand you did that for the shock factor and publicity, but not everyone sees your work as 'art'.
3) It's the second week of April and it will be 84 degrees this week. I'm not looking forward to Summer because we are gonna FRY. And this pollen is getting on my nerves.
4) I have a stack of magazines and 2 books I haven't read because I keep forgetting I have them.
5) Mr. Aries is upstairs taking a nap... who naps at 7:30 in the damn evening?
6) PMDD has started already this month. I feel like the last round of it just ended.... maybe this one will be better than the last?
7) I took the rugrats to the movies yesterday. They wore me the hell out.

On a rainy Wednesday...

I'm still not over my hormone hump. Not sure WTF is going on this month, but be damned I'm still a cranky bitch! Awwww shit. Caffeine. That's what it is, I bet. I've been indulging in it a bit with coffee and word has it, caffeine makes the hormones go nuts. Great... gotta wait this one out.
I know (because I'm STILL hormonal) that I'm reacting to things with much more emotion than I normally would. The anxiety, insecurity and (what seems like) blackhole depression just overwhelm me and I don't see the sunnyside end in sight.

I wish there as an iPhone app for that.

It's Friday.

I have a column deadline over the next few weeks that I know nothing about, re:the subject.
The money/budget part? I got that. But there is another magazine issue coming up where I just have to admit my ignorance. Enter my friend Tex. Y'all should find her.... her trickass (that's a compliment when I talk about those I love) is on my blog roll. SHE is the one that I can run my ideas by and will say, OH! you can do this! and OH! you can do that.... while I sit and shrug like, okay, aiight, really? I always refer to her as my friend that quotes all that UNIVERSE shit: you know the Universe is telling you something! Love is a mushroom, grown from shit by the Universe! The Universe WANTS YOU!

*pause*

I can honestly say that I have a very diverse group of friends. They all bring a different personality and life experience to the table. Yes, they are ALL crazy in their only little way. I mean, aren't we all crazy? Crazy *is* relative, right?

So. Happy Friday, my crazy friends! I love ya!

Yes. My family puts the CRAY in CRAYZEE.

I have 3 nephews that melt my heart. The oldest turned 15 yesterday and since I was in the delivery and was the first to hold him, he has always been my baby. Because I don't have kids of my own, I 'adopted' my sister's. I call them everyday to tell them I love them. I spoil them rotten, they have an open door to my home that no one else has. I never thought my heart could be so heavy with love for kids that weren't 'technically' mine, but when nephew number 2 was born, my heart got bigger... and then number 3 and my heart got bigger once again!

Growing up, my childhood was not the most rosey. As a matter of fact, both my mother and father have ISSUES. I worked hard once I moved out for college to never go back to the city I grew up in and to make sure my life left a positive light on the world at large.
That's why I'm so involved in my nephew's lives. I want them to leave a positive influence and light on the world with their presence.
I've had so many people tell me I would be/make a wonderful mother. And I always say 'thank you' or 'I appreciate that'... I won't lie and say my uterus hasn't been twitching lately. But what I will admit is that having my own child, being a parent, being responsible for another little person's life scares the beheebies out of me. I don't know if I have the patience. I don't know if there will ever be a right time. But really what it boils down to is I don't want to become my Mother. No matter how much you try, or how much therapy or how much help you have in your mate, you will always retain some characteristics of how you were raised and habits you were taught. That scares me. ALOT. I have to work on it everyday.

W.T.H...

So in the end, it really IS true that men are visual.


I get to listen to all of them SAY 'the smart woman, the respectful woman, the accomplished woman' is the one they want to take home to Mom... but in the end, it's the one that has the slutty... oh, my bad... REVEALING pictures on Face.book or the one's that have the ditzy ass laugh at your dumb jokes that really get all the attention. The 'attractive' woman that is tasteful only gets a blink and a pass, but the one who is a bad girl gets the attention.



The reason for my rant? Mr. Aries has a male cousin, an attractive, accomplished, intelligent guy, who is stable... etc... the stuff that women are looking for. He met a really nice, attractive, intelligent, accomplished and stable woman. He likes her, she is tasteful, respectful, he took her to a family gathering or 2, even brought her to Christmas dinner (being a single guy who lost his mom a couple of years back, we invite him to holiday dinner here)... you could tell she was very into him and he was into her.... what's the problem? She saw his face.book page where he was sending some revealing pictures and messages to some chick who had the name... let's just call her Aloe.Vera.... the attraction to THIS woman? She has freaky pictures all open on the networking site for you to see.... and he LIKES that she shows her boobs, her legs and is nude, though covered by a sheet, in one picture. Oh, but this is okay, because its face.book and its not a big deal, right? Of course not! Just because you are licking the computer screen over some aloe ho, its just fine! So his lady friend asked him about it.... and he got MAD and broke it off with her.

*pause*
*reflect*

I am SO irritated. You have something open on your facebook page. She asked you about it. You cop an attitude? Do you think this aloe vera fishnet trick was worth it?
Oh, so the reason I'm venting about it? Because he had the nerve to look for backup from Mr. Aries over here the other day. I sat and stirred. Bit my tongue, bit my lip... until he asked me what I thought.
*pause*
I told him he needed to think with something other than his dick.
Mr. Aries was... shall we say.... not expecting me to say that.

UGH. Some men just make my ass itch. And not in a good way.

Are you afraid?

What stops you from doing what you need to do?
This is post is all over the place, so be prepared before you read it!
I’ve been really selfish lately. I have a lot of things that go on within my scary head during my hellish 2 weeks that I work out by really keeping to myself. I have never been a chatter, a talker, someone who has to tell their issues and business to someone else. I’m the quiet one, the one you come to for an unbiased opinion. Nothing really phases me, so it appears, on the outside. But on the inside, there is a war. Not the kind you see on the.history.channel. but the kind where there is a good vs. evil type thing. I consider myself a pretty much straight forward kinda woman. If there is something up, I’m going to tell you to your face, not hint around about it, not send someone else a text. I've read so many blogs lately where there seems to be some hidden meaning or some ‘secret society’ of weenie asses. What is keeping you from moving forward to do what you need to do? Are you afraid you will hurt someone’s feelings? Are you afraid of yourself – that taking this step might mean you have to continue on the path to NOT being a weenie? Are you afraid the thing you do will backfire? Do you want to live your life afraid of how others will see you ALL the time?
I also had a struggle to get over myself. For those of you who read this and don’t know what this means, the best way to describe it is I had to realize it’s not all about me all the time. Oh well. It was as if a voice in my head was telling me to get over it. Really. There is nothing I can do about it/them/that, they are not crying over me, so what the hell am *I* doing? Get over yourself, Green. And that’s what I did.
I never wanted to become the high maintenance friend. The kind of friend that always had something negative to say and never had a smile or a kind word or made you roll your eyes when you saw their name on the caller ID or heard that creepy ringtone you assigned them in your cellie. I was always the one who had friends grow away from me, not the other way around. And yet, because of my actions nowadays with trying to better my life, trying to keep myself away from others when I am feeling negative, trying to stop repeating the same actions that got me further from my goals, rather than closer, I seem to be growing away from my comfort zone. I could take the weenie way out and be afraid and scared and not continue. Or I can keep going and going and going ala ener.gizer.bun.ny. until it all comes together.
And that’s what I’m gonna do. When it all comes together, I am gonna burst with pride AND I’ll have another 30 or so haters to shake off.

Yes, Ms.Green will be killing these hoes softly.

Aiight, Curvy Jones.... here are the 7.

http://diaryofcurvyjones.com/2010/daily-grind/id-like-to-thank-the-academy/

Seven little known things about your girl, GreenEyes:

1) I have an addiction to H.G.T.V. I watch it every night. Doesn't matter what show, if it's on H.G.T.V. I'm going to watch it.

2) I set my alarm every weeknight, but since I'm an insomniac, I'm always up to turn it off before it goes off in the morning.

3) I have nothing on the walls of my house because Mr. Aries and I disagree on Art. I like abstract, he likes human interest, so our compromise is nothing. *cracks up*

4) I bartended my way through college.

5) I eat the same breakfast 6 days a week: scrambled eggs with spinach and onion and a piece of toast.

6) I have a blanket I cannot sleep without. Yes, it's my Linus blanket. I even take it with me on trips.

7) I listen to talk radio in the morning on the way to work, but hate it on my drive home. For the drive home, it's LOUD.RAP.ONLY.