Saturday, May 29, 2010

Another 7 days before I go back to work...

Now. I'm going to be straight up honest and say I cannot relate to women who want to spend every waking moment with their men. I have been home approximately 7 days and I swear Mr. Aries has me about to catch a damn charge! His bedside manner is... uh... not there. But if I need him to kill a bug, he is totally down for that. Need him to get the oil changed? He's your guy. Need him to rub on your back and peel you a grape and ask how you're feeling and if your tummy needs rubbing? Find another man. Want to talk about your feelings? Aw hell to the naw. He is what he is and I've accepted him for that. I also know I'm not the easiest woman to live with. I have my moments, hormonal and know it all (and yes, dammit, I *do* know it all) that clash with him. And I've found myself wondering if LOVE is enough to overcome any disagreement, any challenge, any rollercoaster ride.
I was so angry at him yesterday for making a seemingly easy task all about him... some male pride bullshit that made absolutely no sense to me... and it still doesn't. What I had to realize is that the way I feel about my nephews, how I love them to my very core, is not how HE feels about my nephews. He wasn't there when they were born. He hasn't been there for the first day of school or the birthday parties or the school field trips that I've been around for.
What I expected of him was to feel what I feel/felt, have his heart heavy for my babies... not to make it about him and what he thinks SOTD (that's spawn of the devil aka my nephew's father) needs to do/not do.


I do not understand men. I thought I did. It always boiled down to 'men are simple, if you aren't naked, fix them a sandwich and pass them the remote control'... and life would be great.
But they aren't really that simple. They are complicated because we make them complicated. We put our emotion into how we think they should act/be and end up with a whole mess of complicated. We expect them to react a certain way because WE would react a certain way, and when they don't, all hell and damnation breaks loose.

I have to learn to let him be him and be okay with that. It's a hard lesson.

No comments:

Post a Comment