What stops you from doing what you need to do?
This is post is all over the place, so be prepared before you read it!
I’ve been really selfish lately. I have a lot of things that go on within my scary head during my hellish 2 weeks that I work out by really keeping to myself. I have never been a chatter, a talker, someone who has to tell their issues and business to someone else. I’m the quiet one, the one you come to for an unbiased opinion. Nothing really phases me, so it appears, on the outside. But on the inside, there is a war. Not the kind you see on the.history.channel. but the kind where there is a good vs. evil type thing. I consider myself a pretty much straight forward kinda woman. If there is something up, I’m going to tell you to your face, not hint around about it, not send someone else a text. I've read so many blogs lately where there seems to be some hidden meaning or some ‘secret society’ of weenie asses. What is keeping you from moving forward to do what you need to do? Are you afraid you will hurt someone’s feelings? Are you afraid of yourself – that taking this step might mean you have to continue on the path to NOT being a weenie? Are you afraid the thing you do will backfire? Do you want to live your life afraid of how others will see you ALL the time?
I also had a struggle to get over myself. For those of you who read this and don’t know what this means, the best way to describe it is I had to realize it’s not all about me all the time. Oh well. It was as if a voice in my head was telling me to get over it. Really. There is nothing I can do about it/them/that, they are not crying over me, so what the hell am *I* doing? Get over yourself, Green. And that’s what I did.
I never wanted to become the high maintenance friend. The kind of friend that always had something negative to say and never had a smile or a kind word or made you roll your eyes when you saw their name on the caller ID or heard that creepy ringtone you assigned them in your cellie. I was always the one who had friends grow away from me, not the other way around. And yet, because of my actions nowadays with trying to better my life, trying to keep myself away from others when I am feeling negative, trying to stop repeating the same actions that got me further from my goals, rather than closer, I seem to be growing away from my comfort zone. I could take the weenie way out and be afraid and scared and not continue. Or I can keep going and going and going ala ener.gizer.bun.ny. until it all comes together.
And that’s what I’m gonna do. When it all comes together, I am gonna burst with pride AND I’ll have another 30 or so haters to shake off.
Yes, Ms.Green will be killing these hoes softly.